from the depths of the winter, the wind and rain (no snow here!); from this darkness I call out.
my memories roll back to me, my feelings of despair overwhelm me.
can I not call out to Hashem? where is my emunah? can I not give over what is in my heart to Him? why is this darkness so stuck with such strong glue
I try to go back to my post from yesterday; I try to love and forgive and mother myself in my own pain. it is hard though- I feel “I CAN’T; I NEED HELP!”
I tell myself that darkness is proportionate to potential light. in places where there are extreme darkness, there can be great light.
I ought to attempt to ACCEPT, to have patience with myself, and surely Hashem will help me today as He does everyday